Polyamorous / Monogamous poll time!
@VulpineDruid and me were talking abt how we'd feel about being someone's "third;" u know, joining an existing relationship. We kind of separate "would hook up" and "would romantic", so I was kind of wondering...
How do you all feel?
Expand in the comments if u like!
(Fixed poll)
#polyamorous #monagomous #romance #sex #dating
@tiefling @VulpineDruid I love when I'm not somebody's "primary" partner because it's easier to just focus on the fun part of our relationship that way.
@mauve @tiefling @VulpineDruid That’s interesting Mauve, from your experience is it typical that the primary partner is also the domestic one, that is they share a household? That’s a lot of overhead, do you find it freeing to not have that? Or maybe only part of the tjme? I guess time splitting seems like a challenge.
@HowsThatNow @tiefling @VulpineDruid It really depends. there's as many variations as there are queer relationships. A lot of folks don't like to use terms like "primary" and adopt a more relationship anarchist style. Usually poly people call partners they live with "nesting partners". Time allocation is an eternal struggle. Also helps when you have different commitment levels and needs. E.g. my partners that are married don't need as much, wheras I see my nesting partners every day.
@HowsThatNow @tiefling @VulpineDruid my hot take is that more than three active partners is inviting turbulence. One of my pals got too excited and was dating like 5 people and it blew up in their face. 🥲 Also different if you are solo poly vs everyone dating I guess.
@mauve @tiefling @VulpineDruid thank you for sharing! Nesting partner is a much more compact term. And it seems best to avoid hierarchical terms like primary - or at least if had another partner, I would hate to diminish put in second place someone I love. Thank you again, this is all theoretical for me, who knows if the poly path is for me or not but I value understanding 🙏
@HowsThatNow @tiefling @VulpineDruid I have some relationship anarchist friends that have what I mighy call a "primary" partner who they don't live with or refer to as such for example. 🤷