I am an atheist.

I came by my lack of belief honestly. As in, I experienced religion first (a few different times)

I avoided using the atheist label though, because a lot of atheists are people looking for something to hate.

And that's not me.

I WANT to believe. Desperately. Nothing would make me happier than learning about something that science does not have the capacity to explain, but that is objectively true.

So, I try to pay attention. When people talk about ghosts or hauntings or mystical mumbo-jumbo, I try to assess it for what it is, rather than what it appears to be.

I try to leave my mind open to the notion that "something else" might be out there.

Example: I moved into my new house, a stone building crafted over 100 years ago, with the *hope* that there would be "something" there. Most people die at home. A lot of them with "unresolved experiences" (after all, everyone dies with a to-do list).

And when I first moved in, I didn't have electricity for a couple of weeks. My wife wasn't here to smudge the place or walk through with burning sage. I wanted to give every opportunity to *experience* something unexplainable.

And I found nothing. Not a single fucking noise, creak, or other event to suggest anything supernatural.

After about two weeks when the power came on, the only things that were plugged in were my laptop and the fridge. Still, not a motherfucking thing.

I tried getting my oil heater fired up at one point and once I got the water to the radiators turned on, I noticed a bunch of leaks, so turned it back off. For the next two weeks I heard TONS of mysterious clunks and gurgles. I understood exactly why so many old houses *seem* to be haunted.

Anyway, I try to give credence to things that I don't understand or can't explain.

To that end, when I started cultivating a YouTube follow list, I sought out things that might offer some direction or at least some mystery.

The only channel that I found that comes close is Slapped Ham (not an advertisement, but entertaining enough, for the most part https://www.youtube.com/@SlappedHam)

I've occasionally poked my nose out of my walled garden to explore other channels, but almost all of them are so desperately trying to convince people of "things" that I find them completely unpalatable. Callum sometimes "implies" that things are more mysterious than they actually are, but for the most part the clips are unmanipulated and he lets them stand on their own merit (or lack thereof). Don't get me wrong, there's still a lot of bullshit, but it's mostly presented honestly from what I can tell.

I've been following the channel for a couple of years now. MOST things aren't even remotely compelling. They're obvious hoaxes or obvious camera glitches or obvious...well..."ghost hunters" who have a pretty vested interest in selling whatever it is that they're selling. Once in awhile there's something slightly interesting, so I continue to watch.

We live in an era where we are surrounded by technology and everyone is carrying a camera in their pocket. And I'm sorry, if your purported *job* is to hunt ghosts, why do you run away as soon as you hear a spooky sound? Like, seriously? If you're an actual skeptic (which they all claim to be), why in the fuck are you running away like some ghoul has crawled it's way out of a grave?

Anyway, I said all of that to ask this one simple question:

Anyone have any *better* options for seeking out this type of material, or is this it? Because if this is it, there ain't no motherfucking ghosts.

(edit: typos)